| (no subject) |
[Sep. 2nd, 2004|09:35 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  worried | ] |
Choose a band/artist and answer only in song TITLES by that band:: Yellowcard
Are you female or male:: Life of a Salesman
Describe yourself:: Drifting
How do some people feel about you:: Empty Apartment
How do you feel about yourself:: Inside Out
Describe your ex girlfriend/boyfriend:: Miles Apart
Describe your current girlfriend/boyfriend:: Only One
Describe where you want to be:: Way Away
Describe what you want to be:: View From Heaven
Describe how you live:: One Year, Six Months
Describe how you love:: Starstruck
Share a few words of wisdom:Believe
Wo0t..amusing |
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| How to Deal... |
[Sep. 2nd, 2004|09:01 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  scared | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Getting Away With Murder- Papa Roach | ] |
*sighs* Im worried for many of my nationwide friends. They've seem to have become my closest friends, and I worry for them dearly.
First, My friends Brandon and Jeremy. They both live in Southern Flordia, and I'm worried shitless about them. Damn Hurricanes. I don't want to lose them, they've always been there for me. I hope they evacuate T.T
Second. John from Maine. He had..a situation tonight...where his brother drew a knife on him..and he got in trouble for it. His mom beat him. I believe he called 911...because the police showed up at his door. But, he said he only dialed in 9-1 before his brother disconected the phone. After that, he said he'd call me back. He hasn't called. Im scared. *curls up into a ball* When he 1st called me, he was happy..then i said i'd be right back because i had to close my stuff on the computer, but then i heard yelling from the phone. His brother had spat in John's hair, then John threw a pop can at his brother, then his brother spilled a glass of pop all over John. John said he'd call me back. He called back, he was crying and shaking. His mom had just beat him because his brother drew a knife on him. Tell me, does that make any sense? Anyway, I was..speechless. Right then i just wanted to kill his mom, but i knew i had to stay calm for him, he needed me. He wanted to get off the phone, but I knew that wouldn't happen. So I continued to talk to him when someone showed up at his door. It was a police officer, saying someone dialed 911. He was just saying how he was about to call 911 for his brother assaulting him and thats when his mom started flipping out. God i was so scared for him. I still am. Im shaking, my eyes burn, my head hurts, my stomach hurts....He said he'd call me back...and im still waiting. Im so scared damn it. I need advice..help..anything on this. I need to help John. |
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| (no subject) |
[Aug. 30th, 2004|04:10 pm] |
Getting Away With Murder- Papa Roach
Somewhere beyond happiness and sadness
I need to calculate
what creates my own madness
and I'm addicted to your punishment
and you're the master
and I am waiting for disaster
I feel irrational
So confrontational
To tell the truth again
I am getting away with murder
it isn't possible
to never tell the truth
but the reality is I'm getting away with murder
(Getting away, Getting away, Getting away)
I drink my drink and I don't even want to
I think my thoughts when I don't even need to
I never look back cause I don't even want to
and I don't need to
because I'm getting away with murder
I feel irrational
So confrontational
To tell the truth again
I am getting away with murder
it isn't possible
to never tell the truth
but the reality is I'm getting away with murder
(Getting away, Getting away, Getting away, Getting away, Getting away, Getting away, Getting away, Getting away, Getting away with murder)
Somewhere beyond happiness and sadness
I need to calculate
what creates my own madness
and I'm addicted to your punishment
and you're the master
and I am craving this disaster
I feel irrational
So confrontational
To tell the truth again
I am getting away with murder
it isn't possible
to never tell the truth
but the reality is I'm getting away with murder
(Getting away, Getting away, Getting away)
I feel irrational
So confrontational
To tell the truth again
I am getting away with murder
it isn't possible
to never tell the truth
but the reality is I'm getting away with murder
Wo0t. I love this song! Another one of my new favorites. I can't wait to get this album. moo! |
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| (no subject) |
[Aug. 27th, 2004|03:06 am] |
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Wow. I've been diagnosed with Paranoia Personality Disorder. Isn't that wonderful? Yeah...gosh and its really scary too. Yes I have paranoia! Wo0t. yay. Mo0. School...was..amusing...ya... |
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| (no subject) |
[Aug. 18th, 2004|11:54 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  loved | ] |
| [ | music |
| | She Will Be Loved- Maroon 5 | ] |
the true ones are darker haha
01.I miss somebody right now
02. I don't watch much TV these days
03. I love olives
04. I love sleeping
05. I own lots of books
06. I wear glasses or contact lenses
07. I love to play video games
09. I've watched porn movies
10. I have been in a threesome
11. I have been the psycho-ex
12. I believe honesty is usually the best policy
13. I have acne free skin (but I still break out man!)
14. I like and respect Al Sharpton
15. I curse frequently
16. I have changed a lot mentally over the last year
17. I have a hobby
18. I've been told I: (women) have an applebottom, (men) am packing.
19. I carry my knife/razor everywhere with me
20. I'm really, really smart
21. I've never broken someone's bones
22. I have a secret that I am ashamed to reveal
23. I hate the rain
24. I'm paranoid at times
25. I would get plastic surgery if it were 100% safe and free of cost.
26. I need money right now!
27. I love Sushi
28. I talk really, really fast
29. I have fresh breath in the morning
30. I have semi-long hair
31. I have lost money in Las Vegas
32. I have at least one brother and/or one sister
33. I was born in a country outside of the U.S.
34. I shave my legs (females) or face (males) on a regular basis
35. I have a twin
36. I have worn fake hair/nails/eyelashes in the past
37. I couldn't survive without Caller I.D.
38. I like the way that I look a lot of the time
39. I have lied to a good friend in the last 6 months
40. I know how to do cornrows
41. I am usually pessimistic
42. I have a lot of mood swings
43. I think prostitution should be legalized I needs to make me some quick money
44. I think Jessica Simpson is hot
45. I have cheated on a significant other in the past.
46. I have a hidden talent
47. I'm always hyper no matter how much sugar I have
48. I think that I'm popular
49. I am currently single
50. I have kissed someone of the same sex
51. I enjoy talking on the phone
52. I practically live in sweatpants or PJ pants
53. I love to shop
54. I would rather shop than eat
55. I would classify myself as ghetto
56. I'm bourgie and have worn a sweater tied around my shoulders
57. I'm obsessed with my online journal
58. I don't hate anyone.
59. I'm a pretty good dancer
60. I don't think Mike Tyson raped Desiree Washington
61. I'm completely embarrassed to be seen with my mother
62. I have a cell phone
63. I believe in God
64. I watch MTV on a daily basis
65. I have passed out drunk in the past 6 months
66. I love drama
67. I have never been in a real relationship before
68. I've rejected someone before
69. I have never been to a big concert
70. I have no idea what I want to do for the rest of my life
71. I want to have children in the future
72. I have changed a diaper before
73. I've called the cops on a friend before
74. I bite my nails.
75. I am a member of the Tom Green fan club
76. I'm not allergic to anything
77. I have a lot to learn
78. I have dated someone at least 7 years older or younger
79. I plan on seeing Ice Cube's newest "Friday" movie
80. I am shy around the opposite sex sometimes
81. I'm online 24/7, even as an away message sadly.
82. I have at least 5 away messages saved
83. I have tried alcohol or drugs before
84. I have made a move on a friend's significant other in the past.
85.I own the "South Park" movie
86. I have avoided assignments at work to be on my online journal
87. When I was a kid I played "the birds and the bees" with a neighbor or friend
88. I enjoy some country music
89. I would die for my best friends
90. I think that Pizza Hut has the best pizza
91. I watch soap operas whenever I can
92. I'm obsessive, anal retentive, and often a perfectionist
93. I have used my sexuality to advance my career
94. I love Michael Jackson, scandals and all- just a fan of his music
95. I know all the words to Slick Rick's "Children's Story"
96. Halloween is awesome because you get free candy
97. I watch Spongebob Squarepants and I like it
98. I have dated a close friend's ex
99. I'm happy as of this moment
100. I need to get laid
Wo0t! Fill this out everyone! Moo! |
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| (no subject) |
[Aug. 14th, 2004|03:17 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  sympathetic | ] |
| [ | music |
| | She Will Be Loved- Maroon 5 | ] |
She Will Be Loved- Maroon 5 (my favorite song)
Beauty queen of only eighteen
She had some trouble with herself
He was always there to help her
She always belonged to someone else
I drove for miles and miles
And wound up at you door
I've had you so many times but somehow
I want more
I don't mind spending everyday
Out on your corner in the pouring rain
Look for the girl with the broken smile
Ask her if she wants to stay awhile
And she will be loved
She will be loved
Tap on my window knock on my door
I want to make you feel beautiful
I know i tend to get so insecure
It doesn't matter anymore
Its not always rainbows and butterflies
Its compromise that moves us along
My heart is full and my door's always open
You can come anytime you want
I don't mind spending everyday
Out on your corner in the pouring rain
Look for the girl with the broken smile
Ask her if she wants to stay awhile
And she will be loved
She will be loved
I know where you hide
Alone in your car
Know all of the things that make you who you are
I know that goodbye means nothing at all
Comes back and begs me to catch her everytime she falls
Tap on my window knock on my door
I want to make you feel beautiful
I don't mind spending everyday
Out on your corner in the pouring rain
Look for the girl with the broken smile
Ask her if she wants to stay awhile
And she will be loved
And she will be loved
And she will be loved
And she will be loved
( Please don't try so hard to say goodbye)
( Please don't try so hard to say goodbye)
Yeah
I don't mind spending everyday
Out on your corner in the pouring rain
Try so hard to say goodbye
I love this song, and it reminds me so much of the book i just finished called The Gospel According to Larry, which i recommend everyone to read. Its a very powerful book and it's changed my view on the world. But this song also reminds me of myself sometimes...^.^ |
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| (no subject) |
[Aug. 13th, 2004|11:37 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  sad | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Dragoste din tei- O-Zone | ] |
Well it seems now, since the past two weeks all my friends are starting to ignore me now....thanks "friends". After camp, i've realized something...my "friends" have all back-stabbed me, at least once...and those kind of people are not really friends are they? I think its time for me to listen to my mom...and start to get new friends...because they always seem to bring me down. Friends, they're people who are always there for you, always loyal to you, always listen to you, always talk to you, always are honest with you, and always love you. How come my "friends" don't seem like that? It's like they only act like that when they want something from me that no one else can give. Do you guys really see me as a friend? Or just someone who does everything you want, just so they can make you happy and make you seem like they're your true friend? I can't take this confusion anymore. It seems my once close friends are so distant from me, like i've done something to make them hate me. Why must everyone hate me? Yes..im aware im paranoid. But this is what it seems like. |
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| (no subject) |
[Jul. 8th, 2004|09:57 pm] |
*sighs* A lot has happened in the last weeks. First in Summer Gym, I got a huge gash in my knee from Volleyball...x__X that got me 8 stitches...then i reopened it when drakie, chuck, dre and i went to Fun'n'stuff. >__< I was just about to play DDR too! And i felt really bad for making us have to leave early...im sorry guys >__<
Anyway, this Saturday Im going to finally meet Jonathan! YES! Im really nervous though..because im going to meet his parents too >___< i reeeeaaaallllyyyy don't want to make a bad impression...and i really hope they don't hate me >__< *squeaks* but yeah. Fun. And then im going to have him meet Chuck, Drakie, and Dre..but i don't think we'll go to the movies...probably meet in town somewhere *nods wisely* yizzz. Woohoooo.
Well i gotta go now! Bai baizzzz! |
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| (no subject) |
[Jun. 6th, 2004|01:53 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  enthralled | ] |
Hey All! lets see what i did this weekend!
Friday:
I went to school. Fun stuff. Then i got home and my brother and i went to see Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban. OMFG! That was so amazing! *___* Sirius Black is my favorite char, and always has been since i read the third book. He was such a perdy doggie *___* Though, i thought the movie seemed rushed...like all the scenes were kinda choppy...must be the new director..oh well, it was still awesome! *spazz* yiz! i love that movie! its meh favorite movie! yay!
Saturday:
Kinda boring day i guess you could say. Went to work. And got a whole bunch of neopet plushies! They're sooooo adorable! *obsess* i already have eight of them! must get more! bleh. Then I went to a graduation party. Fun i guess. Got chased by ickle kids who kept slapping my ass >__< Mrrow. Yeah...interesting day.
SUnday:
went to church. had food. now doing stuff for finals >{ I lost my notebook thing for Bio, so im screwed. DAMN! i don't want to write an essay T____T oh well. lol! so yeah i must go now! Luv ya all! |
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| (no subject) |
[Jun. 4th, 2004|03:04 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  crazy | ] |
type your user name using the following body parts:
nose: sharpie
elbow: sharrpie
tongue: sharpie
chin: sahyu7ar54-0piiee
foot: sharpie
eyes closed: sharpie
eyes closed and one finger: sgarpie
back of my hand: sharpie
palm: shazrpie
mouse: sharpie
wrist: wshuyar54puijes
different version yay! ^^"""" |
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| (no subject) |
[Jun. 3rd, 2004|07:53 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  thirsty | ] |
Nose: sharpie
elbow: shar-p[9iwe
tongue: sharpie
chin: sharp-0i9e
feet: shar0pie
eyes: 2q3f65mv13y0]987p;323tsb
back of my hand: sqharpie
palm: sharpie
mouse: sharpie
wrist: eshuAr45rp8ie4sw
eeeeek! runaway!!!! |
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| Yay! I got Jonathan's package! >>...<<... XDXDXDXD |
[Jun. 3rd, 2004|06:52 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | loved | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Kissy Kissy- Smile.dk | ] |
Yes i know that sounds incredibly perverted. Jon will never let me forget my comment i made about vandalizing his package >__< He sent me 2o drawings, which i think are incredibly cute and awesome *wubbles* and some cds..a dvd..and a manga, which is really really good! *obsess* And i shall treasure his letter forever. It was so romantic ^___^! *sighs happily* I love Jonathan Scott McGregor! Muah! hahahahahahahahahahahahahaha! |
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| (no subject) |
[Jun. 1st, 2004|03:52 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  rejected | ] |
I give up on trying to do anything anymore! The more i try something the more i feel guilty about it. Now i believe i owe apologies to some people who are still close to me in my eyes.
1. Im sorry Chookeh, I know you've always been there for me. If i hurt you in anyway..im sorry..i know im an idiot at times..but i guess a lot of us can be. Im so sorry damn it..i know its nothing much...but..im sorry...
2. Im sorry Spookeh, for getting you worried...I'm glad to see you care about me, and that you show it. Thanks a lot, and you'll always be my friend.
3. And Drakie...Im really really really sorry. I love you. You're a really great person. Im sorry i say things that are cruel..but i don't mean them..im sorry for being so impulsive...i need to take time to think about things before i do them..because i could end up hurting someone really close to me..like i did to you. I'll always be here. I promise. I just felt neglected this weekend..because you, chookeh and spookeh were suppose to be in the parade with me..but then none of you guys showed up...so..i felt you guys didn't want anything to do with me...until spookeh told me you guys were at the lakehouse...Im sorry i assumed things..i do that a lot too. And well..you didn't do anything at blossom either...i was..just being paranoid...and thinking everyone hated me..and i was just in my own little world i guess you could say. Im sorry if it seems i was singling you out..i didn't mean to..i love you drakie, and you've been there for me when i needed you...and im sorry for accusing you of things...im sorry damn it im so fricken sorry....
I don't know what this will do...but..im sorry everyone, for once again screwing up your lives and my own... |
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| Ironic.. |
[May. 31st, 2004|02:52 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  gloomy | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Marilyn Manson - Sweet Dreams | ] |
Today, i have realized something. Why I've always been down around my "closest" friends. The Irotic thing about this is...i use to think..i needed my friends to survive...but in reality, except for a very selective few, they have just been killing me.
I've known Drakie since 1st grade. We were, what one would say best friends, or atleast thats what i thought. Until third grade though, as i saw it, things between us begun to change. I always regret the day that i introduced Drakie to Sara...Always. From the eyes of a third grader, I noticed that Sara had been taking over my role as Drakie's best friend.So, before i knew it, Sara and I were always fighting over Drakie. I'd never give up on Drakie, I'd always keep her arm close to me... I noticed that Sara and my rivalry over Drakie had gotten out of control. She had written letters to drakie saying how i was lying about stuff to be like them and stuff...I actually..was trying to get drakie back...But..i remember on our trip to Toronto..Sara and i were treating drakie like a rag doll. So..i stopped competeing with Sara..and just let Drakie do what she wanted...but, i was always there for her...And then...all three of us, cut ourselves..because drakie was doing it...because connor was doing it...feh..i don't even want to begin on how Connor screwed up drakie's life...but..then I came to realize, Sara and I were both trying to be like drakie too...and..well..i guess..i became obsessed with it...
Then along came 8th grade, when drakie didn't want to have anything to do with sara..so i was happy, happy to finally have my best friend back..but it didn't last that long...i wanted to do more stuff with drakie, and be with her more, and be like her more, to try to like me as a friend more...but i guess...it just ended wanting her to have nothing to do with me...i dreaded that time..of all the things she said that she hated of me in a note...i'll never forget it...she probably doesn't know..how much that scarred me for life But, i still tried to...be her friend..even though she ignored me...and i won't forget at art when she left me alone at our table, and went to sit with steph and melissa..i'll never forget it..I hated myself so much..because i blamed everything on myself, for drakie hating me...everything....I started taking it out on myself...and just dug myself a big...huge hole...my parents started to send me to a shrink again...which made it worse for me. My parents started joking around with me, with Going to cut yourself? Because you're mad? You going to commit suicide?...i hated it I HATED IT! After awhile...drakie started talking to me again.. I don't know after what..but..i didn't give up on her..i tried so many ways to make her like me again..i still clunged to her arm, even if she didn't know it..But..as high school came around..I think we, did, indeed become more distant..i still called her my best friend...but she'd only call me her best friend if i gave her money..or bought things for her...or did things for her...and then i felt..like i was paying her to be my friend..
Feh..i know it might seem im trying to make drakie look like the bad person..but im not..im just saying what i feel...so these past few months..i've been slowly giving up on all my friends....because they've made me feel like im always the tag-along..like im just there...or im invisible to them...They just don't seem like they care about me..about my feelings..about anything about me. And..its killing me. Like..at toronto, at AN..drakie seemed like she did not want me there at all...i felt unwanted there too...*shakes her head* And on this past thursday..with drakie and chookeh talking about going to spookeh's lake house right in front of me..and telling all these people to go on the colordao trip in front of me, without even bothering to ask me to go too..its like No one wants me anywhere anymore...No one wants me to be their buddy! their friend! anything! just dirt to step all over! And at blossom! oh god at blossom! FEH! You be proud drakie! im giving up. You wont have that bugger anymore! I will leave you and all of your other friends alone, so you can be happy, and not have to worry about me. Heh, like you ever had, well atleast thats what its always seemed...Im sorry..but this is how i feel. and i think everyone needed to know. I thought i needed you guys to survive but in the end...you're the ones who are killing me...by me trying to hold on to you guys..with everything i had...
~Sharpie |
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| Yay! Springfest!! |
[May. 14th, 2004|03:28 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  hyper | ] |
| [ | music |
| | If you ever- The Rasmus | ] |
Yahooooo! we got out of school today, hence it was springfest. *sniffles* its so sad to see the happy seniors go. And now I'm basically a sophmore ^__^! no more froshie! So we had periods 1-3...i don't see the point, anyway spanish we just watched this strange spanish cooking show...then we played food bingo...bleh...then i had strings and we're playing Harry's Wonderous World from Harry Potter..yeah then i had Geometry..oh fun. we did this logic sheet thing...im not logical so i didn't finish it >__< yeah then we went down the gym for the awards ceremony rawr. that was boring.
Then we had lunch..and it was interesting..james o'malley and jeremy markowitz were like bitch slapping eachother and attempting to fight...yeah. Um then we watched the Home-made video things..they were all hillarious, but i really liked the underground male cheerleaders XDXDXD! go gar! then it was so sad to see then senior's parade and the senior slideshow...yeah then we had to debate our way out of school...Go Barnes!!!!!! he rox! ya so then drakie spookeh and i came over to my house and just sat around for a bit, hence we got out of school early ^__^! and now i have to go to work. and after that im going to spookeh's house for a party thing yay ^__________________^!
well moost go! tootles. |
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